Ringing in the new year...

Like there is not other.

At home with the Bug. ☺ I wouldn't want it any other way. (Well okay, maybe 2% of me can think of other things I would want to be doing, but not enough to do a damn thing about it.)


So here's where every one makes a resolution for a new year. I've come to the conclusion in my wise old age...all 28 years, that if you have to make a resolution only once a year - either you have life figured out or you are just too damn lazy to make goals for yourself more than once a year. I'll let you decide which one applies to you.

I do not make resolutions. I just take life in stride and make modifications where it applies.

Through the year I have encountered ups and downs and life can go no where but up from here. You know that saying, when life hands you lemons cut them up and take shots...wait a minute, something's not right there. That's the weekend motto. ☺ When life hands you lemons make lemonade. Sounds a bit better and quenches your thirst at the same time.

To the family and friends who have helped me turn over a new chapter in my life thank you from the bottom of my heart and soul for being the best support anyone could have ever asked for. Learning how to be a single mom has provided nothing but entertainment, a few more gray hairs, learning how to be carefree, and how to raise a boy.

I think some of my favorite boy moments have been where Corbin tells me as I walk into the bathroom saying, "Mommy, don't forget to wipe your weiner!" I'm sorry...WHAT? Or when he plays with his toy from Aunty Dawn. The toy tells him "You'll do better next time" and he gets SOOOO excited and yells "MOMMY! I will do better next time! Good job for me!"

Can I keep the Bug at three? He's perfect at cuddling but being independent. Guess I have to just let him be and take the next step in raising a boy. Now where did I leave that manual?

Here's to a new year and being bold.

♫ And I just can't keep living this way
So starting today, I'm breaking out of this cage
I'm standing up, I'ma face my demons

I'm manning up, I'ma hold my ground
I've had enough, now I'm so fed up
Time to put my life back together right now! ♫

So with the new year crawling it's way to the West Coast the Bug and I wish you happiness and let the new year bring you happiness in every aspect of your life.

Bittersweet endings...

♫ There's not a mean bone in my body

I never could be unkind

I know we're not talking

But there's something on my mind

It ain't righteous indignation

I don't plan to rant or rave

No need for us to fight and fuss

I just want to say

Have a nice rest of your life without me

I'll be proud to be a part of your history

If it makes you happy honey

Keep talking bad about me

And have a nice rest of your life without me - Randy Travis ♫

Well it's done. Signed, sealed, and delivered. I am officially divorced. About damn time. Only took 1 year and 7 months....dear Lord.

I honestly don't know if I would have been able to do this without my family and friends. I have never had a more awesome support system. This whole process has been full of  bittersweet moment because I have lost good friends and learned who my true ones are. Those who have stuck by my side through the thick and thin and the complete ups and downs.

A lot of this hasn't sunk in just yet. I'm still processing everything. I have my moments of 'YES. I win, this is over' to 'This is not how I wanted this to end'. I guess in this case that's natural and that's just how it goes. It is what it is (I swear I was just bitching about this phrase), these are the cards I have been dealt and from here I move forward. I love you my support system for all the times you've let me bitch, to being my shoulder to cry on, and to making me laugh at life and letting me know that everything will be okay.

So here's to opening a new chapter in my life as I sign off on the old one. A toast....to me and officially starting a new beginning.

♫ Somebody's gonna give you a lesson in leaving

Somebody’s gonna give you back what you been givin’

And I hope that I’m around

To watch’em knock you down

It’s like you to love ‘em and leave ‘em

Just like you loved me and left me

It’s like you to do that sort of thing

Over and over again

You’re a fool hearted man

I hear you’ve been asking about me

From some of my friends

But you better believe I’m not going

Through that again

You’re the kind of man

A women thinks she can change

Oh but the only thing changing

Is my way of thinking

And I’m thinking that maybe someday ♫

Chin up, Kid

♫ You got to keep on keepin on
You got to keep your head up high
You gotta work with what you've got
And someday you will flyyyyy ♫

There are days I want to throw in the towel - today being one of them. From love - to faith - to hope. I just don't get the way life works some times and why things are the way they are. I can't stand the sayings, 'it is what it is', 'what doesn't kill you makes you stronger', 'if it's meant to be it's meant to be'...what the hell happened to being able to be in control of life and guiding it the way you wanted it to go?

My daddy doesn't talk too often, he usually says hi and passes the phone on to my mom, but the times I need him the most he is there for me. Growing up, crying wasn't really an option. He always told me, 'chin up, kid. Crying isn't going to get you anwhere.' Yup - the wise words rang again this time around. Somehow they made me feel better.

I have a hard time with letting things be. I am not a fan of the unexpected. I do not believe there is a higher power out there with a plan for me, but I do believe that Karma comes around. Now the being patient part will be the part that kills me...

I would like to think I am a patient person with a big heart. Lately I feel that patience running thing and my heart becoming more skeptical and less tolerant of bullshit.

My new goal in life...

Deep breath...it will all be okay, right?